Love, Life and Knitting

I am not very creative

2012-01-31T21:51:00.000Z

I can knit and I can crochet - but I couldn't design anything.
I love colours but have no idea how to put them together.
I can't draw or paint.
I don't have that knack of making things look pretty or as if they are meant to be together.
I love taking photos but I am definitely not a photographer.

However, technology has helped me to appear much more creative than I really am.
Twitter introduced me to Instagram. Instagram is like facebook for photographers, although everyone is much nicer to each other.

Most importantly, I can take a photo like this:

And turn it into this:

And then there is Picframe. I can take these photos:

And create this:

It makes you wonder how creative people really are.

To resolve, or not

2012-01-03T13:41:00.001Z

Being a planner, a list writer and an organiser - it is hard for me not to make any resolutions. For the last two days, I have been walking around with my notebooks thinking that at any moment I will sit down and write some. But nothing has happened.

Since changing my way of eating quite dramatically, I have no need for dieting pledges. Having given up half my allotment, I have no need for the Use It or Lose It mantra of last year. My gym closed down in November and as I haven't missed it, I haven't found another (and now I realise that what I eat, not what exercise I do is what affects weight loss, I don't have the same motivation). My work/life balance is not too bad, if anything I am taking on more work in 2012 as I have been able to see some space. I have my weekly yoga class and knitting group that are perfect 'me time'. I see my friends and family as much as I want to, I have good habits surrounding skincare, my relationship is in good nick and our house is as clean and uncluttered as I can manage.

But still I feel as if I should be promising something.

I suppose I'd like to find a way to be less distracted by e mails, twitter, facebook, instagram and television but that's a discipline I'm not sure could last 365 (sorry, 362) days as sometimes really interesting things are happening.
I would love to lose some of my recent reluctance towards driving on motorways. I have found our A Road Adventures liberating, but I need Dan in the car to do the navigation - or I must replace him with a Sat Nav, which seems unfair.
I'd like to train myself to use the spare room as an office rather than balancing the laptop whilst parenting, checking my iPhone and tripping over small dogs.

[I'm not saying resolutions are a waste of time. Three weeks ago, I finished the socks I pledged to make in 2010. Tick!]

Gone but not forgotten

2011-12-30T20:01:00.002Z

I still have a grandmother - she is 99 years old, sweet, kind, funny and pretty much on the ball. She is a pleasure and we make the most of every minute we have with her.
I had another grandmother but she died when I was quite young, from meningitis. I remember feelings more than I remember specifics - there is a warmth and a smile, but I cannot absolutely recall her face. If I try too hard she becomes blurred and fuzzy.

For Christmas this year, I have been given her recipes. All typed and formatted in a large folder with sections.
When I opened the present I cried, tears that came from nowhere and took me by surprise. I have only just been able to look at the folder. There are also some handwritten recipes - oh how I remember her handwriting!

Here is her recipe for Glühwein:
1 level tsp ground cloves
1 level tsp ground cinnamon
1 level tsp ground nutmeg
Half an orange
5oz granulated sugar
Half a lemon, chopped
1 pint water
1 bottle red wine

Mix all ingredients except wine in a large saucepan and heat gently, until sugar dissolves. Stir occasionally. Bring to the boil and simmer for one hour. Strain through at least double muslin. Rinse saucepan and put wine in, add syrup [which I assume has been strained into a jug, before the saucepan was washed]. Reheat but do not boil.

My grandparents are buried in Gloucestershire, a long way from home, but we were close by this week so I took a detour. It was nice to spend a few minutes thinking of them.

From ten rods to five via a bit of denial

2011-11-23T20:12:00.002Z

The photo above was taken in 2009 and shows my allotment and its Grass Problem. The situation has not improved and as I have been working the plot on my own since we got the pub, the grass has just got worse and worse.
I took the big decision at the end of the summer to give up half of my plot. Admitting I can't do something isn't one of my skills so it was a culmination of pressure from the Field Secretary (which I initially resented) and a tiny inner voice wondering what it would be like if I had something more manageable.
In November, I met my prospective partner. We agreed a staggered half so that I didn't have to move my fruit trees.
A week later, I arrived to this:

My shed was so organised I was initially a little put out - it's a control thing - but then over the next few weeks, the shed was rebuilt, repaired and painted. The paths were trimmed and the junk removed. A path was laid and the nettle bed removed.
This spurred me on, and I started to remove all the grass from between the beds. With my little helper of course.

My new partner has nothing more to do than keep digging up any weeds that appear in his half so he has started to help me wage war on the grass. Amazing. This has freed me up to also cut back the asparagus, tidy up the blackberries, plant the young strawberry plant runners.
Now - for the first time - I have a plot that I look forward to seeing each Sunday.

Feeling a bit seasonal

2011-10-27T20:56:00.035+01:00

My close friends and family will tell you I am a bit rubbish at this time of year. Despite craving the change of season and loving Autumn almost as much as I love Spring, I still seem to fall into this dark hollow where everything seems a little too difficult.
I had hoped that the radical change in my diet would see a change in these symptoms, but all that has happened is I haven't comfort-eated my way through. However, this is a Good Thing, as it gives me one less stick to beat myself with.
Seasonal Affective Disorder is described as ' a mood disorder in which people who have normal mental health throughout most of the year experience depressive symptoms in the winter or summer,spring or autumn year after year.'
So the big question is 'are my symptoms depressive or am I just instinctively reacting to the colder weather and darker days?'

This is how I feel:
Really tired, but not so tired that I can't get up and function.
A bit fed up and a bit hopeless one day and then chirpy and optimistic the next.
Feeling fatter than I actually am and not liking myself very much at times.
Being a little cross with myself.

My Grandfather would have said I was 'naval gazing'. Too much time on my hands - and busy, but not mentally stretched.

So, what to do ....
Well I have tried sleeping with a curtain open - to my husband's extreme joy - so that I could wake as the light increases. I have been taking Vitamin D and going outside as much as possible, bearing flesh if I can. I swallow a whacking great dose of EPA each day, after reading this book on holiday. I have been doing yoga when childcare allows and have been trying to get a little sweaty in the gym once a week. I have tried to accept the times when I feel a bit tired and taken it easy. I have been making my many evenings home alone a little more rewarding by watching films and good tv programmes, whilst working on crafty projects.
Today I found myself asking for more work......

This is me in 100 words

2011-10-23T17:57:00.000+01:00

I ran an animal behaviour consultancy practice (under my maiden name Magnus) for fifteen years. I decided I needed a change and almost immediately found out I was pregnant. Four years on, life is fun – I work for the Orwell Lady, KDS Print & Design, Fur & Feather magazine, Highcliff Veterinary Practice and am Editor of The Ipswich Gardener. My husband is Landlord of the Greyhound Public House in Ipswich. I prioritise time with our daughter Scarlett and also look after our home, two dogs and an allotment whilst keeping up my hobbies of twitter, football, blogging, knitting and crocheting.

Projects.... projects.....

2011-10-08T19:27:00.015+01:00

On Thursday my Aunt and I met at the Knitting and Stitching Show, Alexandra Palace. I cannot believe I haven't been before as it is right up my metaphorical street. Shunning a £70 train fare, I paid £22 and travelled almost door to door by coach - obviously the youngest onboard but a perfectly pleasant journey sitting next to a really nice lady.
I should have taken more photos but I honestly forgot. Penny and I chatted and looked, touched everything and bought plenty. After a cheeky lunchtime glass of wine, my spending saw a rapid increase - I was quite literally writing cheques that my bank could not cash (at that time).
It has given me a good kick up the creative backside too. Having seen Jane Crowfoot's completed Mystery Crochet Project I am now inspired to carry on and get it FINISHED. I would also really like to sign up to the 2012 one as well. After meeting Jane Greenoff I was inspired to try some cross stitch. Following her advice I have something small and pretty here.....
I have Christmas presents for the women in my life sorted and there are plans in my head for one of the rooms above the pub.
However, I am most excited by Swedish company MillaMia. I am always frustrated by the lack of contemporary designs for little people, but these two just have to be made:

Towards the end of the day, I had some precious time with the lovely Nicky, a chat with the very inspiring Emma King and a great catch up with Juliet from The Knitter.
I'll be going again next year ... and by coach.

I might have done the cross-stitch by then.

Why I love twitter

2011-10-05T20:14:00.002+01:00

Sometimes, when I am a bit lonely, twitter gives me someone to talk to.
If it doesn't give me someone to talk to, then it gives me plenty to read.
I have found a great yoga class that is at a time when I have childcare (via @emma_gibbons).
Next Wednesday, I am going to visit a stitch and knit morning at Halfpenny Home in Needham Market.
I heard about this gathering by following @halfpennyhome.
I have solved Scarlett's overnight nappy issues just by asking what other parents use.
There are two or three groups of 'friends' that I can chat with.
We have created a real sense of community for the pub.
Kate Silverton, Amanda Holden, Brendan Cole and Idris Elba have all replied to my tweets.

Actually Idris Elba hasn't...... but I keep hoping.

And then I came over all silly....

2011-09-14T21:36:00.002+01:00

I was 7 years old when Marc Bolan died.
I don't remember much about it as Elvis had died a month earlier and my Mum was so devastated there was little room for much else upset.
When I was about 12, around the time I started to develop a crush on Adam Ant, my Mum suggested I listen to some T-Rex - it was a men-in-make-up-thing.
Without the internet and music channels, I didn't really see Marc Bolan perform so I mostly listened and read biographies.
Time passed and Marc Bolan had slipped my mind until I heard that our local theatre had written and produced 20th Century Boy.
My husband and I loathe the back catalogues of pop stars being turned into musicals, having been traumatised by Tonight's The Night and some paper sailors hats.
So there we were, slightly cautious, sitting in the theatre with my Mum and step-father. The lights went down, the play started and then 'T-Rex' came out on the stage.
I was hit by an over-whelming surge of emotion which didn't seem to leave until the lights came back up almost three hours later.
It's a great play - really great - and the acting is incredible. By the end it felt as though we were at a rock concert, everyone was up dancing and cheering. I was even waiting for an encore.
After three glasses of red wine on an empty stomach, I told the chap who played Marc Bolan how amazing he was, more than once. I think I even told him I wanted to kiss his shoes - is that what you do to rock stars?
Poor lad is 21......
Oh the shame.

Beaches and pebbly places

2011-09-08T21:32:00.001+01:00

This photo was taken at Felixstowe on Saturday. You wouldn't believe how blue, sunny and warm it was when 24 hours later it was cold and gloomy.
Scarlett learned to fly a kite and the importance of holding on to it - even when you fall over.
In a week, we had a cold afternoon on Thorpeness beach with a friend I hadn't seen for years, a two day stay with a close friend in the sun at Aldwick / Bognor and then the lovely Felixstowe beach hut.
We have the hut this week, our last visit of 2011 no doubt.
Tuesday was my nephew's final day before he started school so we refused to be held indoors by the weather. We marched up the promenade in winds so strong I nearly lost the children. We ate at our favourite restaurant and then we returned to the beach and ran around in the sand.
I'd like to say we all slept well that night but Scarlett was woken by a failing nappy and a wet bed at 2.30am and didn't get back to sleep until nearly 5.
Wednesday's trip to the beach hut then was all about me drinking black coffee and trying to pull myself together.
Back tomorrow ....

Thin(ner) and happier

2011-08-25T20:48:00.000+01:00

I am at my lightest in 11 years. It feels great and I like how I look. I don't feel so bloated and I feel happier because I know I look OK.
Does that make me shallow?
Happiness can't be about weight, but it is about feeling in control.
To find a way of living that doesn't involve waking up cross with myself, trying to eat low calorie foods, then failing and getting cross all over again is really quite liberating.
I feel that I am keeping on top of so many other things in my life too, as if I have freed up lots of time.
Don't get me wrong, it's not all sugar-free meals and weight loss. There are times that need to be negotiated with caution. Like tonight, a difficult day at work - not bad, just taxing - and when I got home I felt as though I needed a reward. And I contemplated all sorts of foods.
What kept me on the straight and narrow was the knowledge it wouldn't make me feel good.
It really is that simple I suppose.
Shame I didn't work it out years ago.

Summer 2011

2011-08-11T20:46:00.000+01:00

Summer 2010 was probably one of the toughest periods of my life. I was surviving on no sleep, I had paid a huge amount of money for a puppy we couldn't leave or toilet train, sad things happened, everything I did or tried to do seemed a struggle, my daughter was throwing the most almighty over-tired tantrums and I cried.
My memories of my lovely garden on a sunny day were in danger of becoming ruined, as that is where I used to sit and cry - behind my sunglasses.
But we are building new memories this year. We all sleep, none of us wees anywhere we shouldn't, no-one seems to get cross (well not for long anyway) and I have found a balance of work and life.
It seems quite peaceful and I think we are happy.
So who cares if it is raining and the rioting has shaken my faith in humanity.
In my little corner of the world there is love, and that makes my world go around.

Wishing ill will

2011-08-04T21:54:00.001+01:00

I have worked really hard at our allotment. It isn't pretty and it is never going to win an award but it is loved , visited, appreciated and thought about. I have recently had to fight to keep it and, reluctantly, I agreed to give up half to keep the peace.

And then someone stole my apples.
My Braeburns.
I think they stole my gooseberries, redcurrants and blackcurrants too.
The only thing keeping me sane is that the apples weren't ripe - so perhaps the perpetrator has tummy ache.

Blog Block

2011-07-28T22:08:00.002+01:00

I have no idea what to write about.
I have considered giving up this blog.
In fact, this time last week this post was going to be along the lines of 'So long, and thanks for all the fish'.
But here I am.
I can't promise much, but I will try.
I will try to get back to writing regularly - Thursday nights, usually around 9pm - and I will try to Think Blog when I am working my way through my day.

I am a plate spinner. I have said this many times. At the moment I have a few extra plates to spin.
After a lovely week in France I came home resolving to keep everything in its box and to work through some of the items that have been on my To Do list. The box of photo frames in our bedroom have been rehomed, Scarlett's shelves have been painted and I have dealt with everything that takes two minutes or less to do.
This, along with work, home and family has kept me nice and busy.

So, just to cover a few of our recent activities - here are some photos from the Open Day at my allotment:

And here are a couple from France:

See you soon.

Silent Sunday

2011-06-19T20:10:00.000+01:00

My new way of eating

2011-06-15T17:21:00.076+01:00

It is six months since I discovered that losing weight is not about eating less and exercising more.

Since then, I have come to realise that all the years of focusing on calories and filling myself with low calorie white carbs has caused me to become so fixated on sugar, that I have become addicted, tired and more overweight than I was when I started trying to lose just half a stone when I was a teenager.
My life has been dominated by weight and food issues since I was 15, and my weight has consequently increased over this time. I used to weigh 9 stone, then it was 10, down to 9 and then up to 10 and a half, then it leapt to12, back down to 11 and there it stayed (ignoring a 13 stone smiling pregnant woman in the middle). No matter what I have done, who I have talked to or what I have been tested for (in my more desperate moments) - it's always followed the same pattern.
There is no evidence behind the 'cut your calorie intake by 3,500 per week to lose a 1lb in weight' theory. I was sold a kipper. All that happened was I became starving hungry and my body was filled up with more bowls of plain pasta, dry toast and indigestible beans.

So, in November I was introduced to Zoe Harcombe and her thoughts on food, sugar addiction, candida and food intolerances. Around this time I was also introduced to The Diet Delusion by Gary Taubes (a big tome of a book but worthwhile reading if you like science).
In February Dr Natasha Campbell-McBride and her thoughts on gut dysbiosis captivated me but then I fell off the sugar wagon with a large bump and had to shelve her ideas until I was ready to start again.
So, 5 weeks ago I dumped the sugar and processed food once more and started to look at Dr Natasha's theories again. Far too much information to cover in this little update but essentially becoming vegetarian at 14, going onto the pill at 17, consuming large quantities of low calorie carbohydrates for nearly 25 years as well as the odd course of antibiotics and periods of being vegan could well explain my low stomach acid, tummy troubles (which started when I was 16), reduced fertility, tendency towards feeling down on and off throughout the year and many many more things I could bore you with.

My epiphany goes as follows - by going vegetarian through my sheer love and emotional attachment to animals and a fear of their death, I have essentially made myself low in magnesium and zinc as well as protein deficient. My weight has increased due to the high levels of carbohydrates and my gut flora has become abnormal so I have been suffering with a bloated tummy for as long as I can remember.
Animals have still been killed and eaten regardless. I couldn't save them. I should have prioritised myself.

As many of us know, how we feel about ourselves throughout the day often depends on how flat our tummy is when we get up in the morning. My lifestyle choice increased my weight and bloated my stomach. I started doing more and more dieting but just ate more carbs and less fats (and as we were all told this was the way to eat I thought I was doing the right thing).

So, where am I now? Well, after 25 years I am happily carnivorous. Really carnivorous. My weight has fallen, gradually, but much much more noticeable is the change in my sense of balance, inner peace, hormones and self-perception. I can safely say that I am free of any worries at mealtimes and I haven't woken up cross with myself for a while. On holiday I was quite relaxed and free of the Weight Worries - as it turns out I didn't put any weight on anyway.

Perhaps most importantly I have plenty of time, and knowledge, to ensure Scarlett eats well and stays happy.

So, if you know any young teenage girls thinking about turning vegetarian - see if they would consider eating fish and make sure they eat lots of eggs and stay away from the processed food.

Happy days

2011-06-11T15:58:00.000+01:00

I love Cornwall, but I really love Falmouth. I have been visiting for so long that I know where everything is and as soon as I unfurl from the car (6.5 hours door to door if you don't stop) I am relaxed. I am also happy.
It is hard to leave Dan for a week, especially as having Scarlett means I am now separating them.
But it is good for my soul to be with my friends, my special Cornish-dwelling friends.
Last year was a little bit of a disaster - Scarlett was two, she didn't sleep, she screamed a lot during the day, she didn't eat much and I became fraught. This year she was a dream - so much so that I spent a fortune on stripy tops for her in SeaSalt.

Our big adventure, a plant fair and some bunting!

2011-06-01T07:24:00.001+01:00

Scarlett has always been quite interested in vehicles - tractors (red ones), buses, 'amb-lances', bikes, 'air-planes' and trains have been in her vocabulary for a long time.

When the opportunity came to take her to see Peppa Pig's Party at the Marina Theatre in Lowestoft I thought we could have a real adventure and travel by train.
I kept it all secret. We had our Pyjama Drama class in the morning, and then raced home to get her dressed and ourselves to the train station. I bought her a 'mag-zine', myself a paper (still unread) and we hopped onto the 11.08.
Her little face was a picture, so excited and happy to finally be on a train. She was good company, we did some drawing, had a picnic and we looked out of the windows. 90 minutes later we arrived.
Peppa's Party was OK although a bit old for her I suspect. When you are three, you really don't understand intervals, and you are probably happy to go home after 30 minutes. By the middle of the second half, Scarlett had enough and I was left watching puppets with a screaming, angry little person face down on the carpet.
There was a moment of calm when I bought her and her cousin a £1.50 plastic windmill outside, but once we were back at the train station the tears returned.
What had seemed to quick journey out became interminably long on the way home. Much of the time, Scarlett was rolling on the filthy floor - but I just couldn't face the confrontation. Some of the time she cuddled me and sucked her thumb.
I was so pleased to be back in Ipswich and took two paracetamol as soon as I returned home.
Sadly, Peppa Pig's Party has not been mentioned - not once, not even when she has seen her on the television.
Far too much squeezed into one day for one so small?

On Sunday we took it relatively easy and visited Helmingham Hall for a Plant Sale. It was a really windy day but good weather and just the most beautiful surroundings. 15 minutes from my home and I have never been before. Incredible.
True to form I spent all the money in my purse (I don't seem to be happy until it is empty) but came home with no plants.
[I actually came home with no purse but thanks to some kind people we have now been reunited.]

I have been making garden bunting using old Sarah Smith dishcloths. My kind of easy!

5 magazines a month

2011-05-27T14:04:00.001+01:00

I have a glut of magazines land on my mat around now. Red and The Knitter and then Psychologies. At the Country Living fayre this year, I subscribed to their magazine - 'When in Rome' and all that - so now that comes along with its beautiful covers.

And then I found this beauty:

Just £5 for the first three issues. So beautiful. So inspiring. A lovely free gift to make too. What's not to like?

If the next two are as good as the first then I will need to find the money for this as well.

But one will have to go.

Psychologies was a present so I assume it will run out at the end of the year.

Country Living was paid for up front so I can choose not to renew.

Red is non-negotiable as it keeps my finger on the pulse of what's happening and what I should be wearing.

I am finding The Knitter increasingly at odds with the things I like to make but everytime I say that there is something I like.

Which magazines do you read?

A frustrating time at the allotment

2011-05-25T21:03:00.003+01:00

I like communicating and I love communication. I really enjoy thinking of different ways to deliver messages and I am always really switched on when I hear of strategies or really cool ideas. It has taken me a long time to realise that this perhaps where my skills are - if only because I am passionate and chatty.
At the allotment AGM last month, comments were made about the lack of interest in the shop, Open Day and tidying borders. I couldn't stay quiet. I took a deep breath (this being my first AGM) and asked how they communicated to Plot Holders. Of course I already knew the answer. There is no communication. It is all word of mouth - but there are lots of people who have no idea who the Committee Members are, have no idea who to speak to if they want to donate produce for the events or how to communciate with the Secretary if they have a proposal for an AGM.
For the last four years, I have had no idea what is happening or who to talk to.
So, I suggested a few simple things that could be done. Nothing major - letting people know key dates, producing eye-catching posters, advertising the contact details for the Committee and letting everyone know when the Shed Shop is open and what it sells.
I thought it had been well received and I thought it would be a great thing for me to do. I had some nice supportive comments after the meeting.
And then it all went quiet.
Last week I was told, to be fair somewhat sheepishly, that it had been decided that there was no point contacting plot holders regularly as people aren't interested. I was told that posters for the Open Day had been done and that details of the plots that Committee Members were on would be put on display.
I was disappointed. I don't agree that there is no point; but I don't like to make a fuss so I said very little - except to point out that the time of the Open Day was missing on the posters
Maybe I need to work on my communication skills.

My garden, 6am

2011-05-19T06:30:00.002+01:00

My Spencer rose, planted on top of the ashes of Spencer the Dachshund. He wasn't a tough dog so he got a frilly rose.

An iris that has grown in the middle of a difficult part of the garden, when we haven't had proper rain for 7 weeks. It's even more special as I don't remember planting it!

This raised bed should become a heady mix of my favourites - snap dragons, sweet peas and lavendar.

There is a microscopic bunch of grapes in the middle of the photo. Exciting!

Oh yes, snails all over the place after last night's 'light drizzle'.

On children

2011-05-15T19:28:00.001+01:00

Your children are not your children. 
They are the sons and daughters of life's longing for itself. 
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,  
For they have their own thoughts. 
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
Which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. 

You may strive to be like them,
But seek not to make them like you. 
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children 
As living arrows are sent forth. 
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,  
And he bends you with his might
Tthat his arrows may go swift and far.

Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as he loves the arrow that flies,  
so he loves also the bow that is stable.

Kahlil Gibran

Pyjama Drama

2011-05-07T14:21:00.004+01:00

We attended a taster session of Pyjama Drama this morning in Kesgrave. All we had to do was turn up with teddy and Scarlett in pyjamas but despite being up at seven, I still cut it fine - imagine how late I would have been if she had needed clothes on.
My experience with classes has been a little hit and miss since Scarlett has been walking. We seem to have spent a lot of money only for me to carry her for the entire session or do much of the class by myself with her sobbing and watching at a distance. Consequently I have only been taking her swimming once a week (and even then I sometimes wonder if she will ever be happy in the water).
Pyjama Drama encourages children to play, explore, pretend and dance. At today's class we pretended we were at a pyjama party, making a midnight feast, hiding when someone came up the stairs and tidying up after ourselves. The children played and laughed under a large parachute and there was plenty of singing.
The Suffolk classes are run by Jane Cole, coincidentally I went to school with Jane. I always admire people who run children's classes - the confidence, the empathy and the connection is just something I either don't have or couldn't promise week in, week out. Jane doesn't disappoint and kept the children, and parents, captivated for 45 minutes.
So, I've booked a place and written out a cheque.
We will be more organised over the coming Saturday mornings.
The only potential blot on the landscape? Scarlett seems to have inherited my practical and analytical nature. She turned to me at one point and said 'but Mummy, where is the cupboard?'.

A week in photos

2011-04-29T22:12:00.000+01:00

Party after party, after party

2011-04-24T21:50:00.000+01:00

So here I am at the end of a lovely Easter Sunday - two Easter Egg hunts, one big family lunch and a few glasses of white wine.
But the celebration is not over for this family. Tomorrow we have Scarlett's birthday party, Tuesday is her third birthday and Friday is our street party.
I think I might need a long lie down on Saturday.

Toilet training :: The update

2011-04-20T22:13:00.001+01:00

I think Playgroup might have muddled Scarlett with another child. She was certainly not toilet-trained. We have had long periods of time sitting on toilets, I have purchased a padded Peppa Pig seat, we have offered all manner of treats and we have had no wees or poos in the toilet or on the potty.
So as from Good Friday, we will be leaving the "knick-cars" behind and using the warm weather to introduce naked training in the garden.
I stayed with a friend this week and she was on days two and three of cold turkey toilet training. Apparently Day One was horrendous. I think our day one has been the last two weeks - I have even had to take apology chocolates to nursery as they had seen Scarlett soil four pairs of pants and two outfits.
As for The Audrey - well, she remains 'sensitive' and I was pretty fed up when I returned home from my 22 hour escape to hear she had peed on the carpet twice when Dan and Scarlett had been upstairs (and she had been put outside). I am wondering if I should be considering medication - for her, not me.
Not yet anyway.

Under the radar

2011-04-06T22:14:00.002+01:00

I think it is OK to say out loud that Audrey is toilet-trained. I get up early to get her into the garden as soon as she is on the move and the nice weather means the back door is open all the time.
I would say that one wee on the carpet a week is as good as it is going to get.
We met a friend's 12 week old puppy last week - they seem to be at the same stage as us except Audrey is 11 months old.

I have been putting off potty training Scarlett as there is only so much urine and faeces a person can deal with at anyone time.
And then I collect Scarlett from playgroup today and they mention that she asks them to take her to the toilet and wees - each week.

It seems I can't toilet train a small dog but my daughter can toilet train herself.

"Poo Head"

2011-04-02T16:55:00.002+01:00

Today we went to see one of my favourite books on the stage. I was introduced to this book by a close friend, a while before I had Scarlett. I think I bought her husband a silly book about poo, so they gave me this in return.

The story is as follows - a mole wakes up one morning to find someone has done a poo on his head. He seeks out the offender, but not before each animal has shown him their 'business' to prove it was not them. Genius.

The last time this production came to Ipswich, Scarlett was too young so I was determined to take her this time. Both showings were sold out so I was pleased to have managed to get four tickets and have been looking forward to it very much. Scarlett loves the book and the simplistic 'Poo Head' is all her own work.

So off we skipped this afternoon to meet the friend who introduced us to this gem. This is the second time I have been to see a children's play at the New Wolsey Studio and both times I have wondered how they will turn a short book into something long enough to be worth seeing but engaging enough to keep three year olds happy.
The Kipper Tie Theatre were excellent at performing the adaptation. We laughed at the hare, sang with the cow, waved to the goat and then found out who did the deed via two Cockney flies.
The flyer calls it a 'Poodunnit'; haven't I done well not to tell you who did?

One Day by David Nicholls - no spoilers!

2011-03-31T07:41:00.000+01:00

I finished reading One Day at the weekend. I cried when it finished and I had shed a tear or two before then as well. It was a wonderful read; full of love and hope, humour and upset.
The first chapter is set in the late 80s, as the couple finish their degrees in Edinburgh. It is St Swithin's Day and the book checks in with them on this day for the next twenty years.
It was immediately of interest as Emma and Dexter are just a little older than me and I studied at Edinburgh around the same time. I could identify with the cultural references throughout the book - the drug culture I wasn't part of in the early 90's, Labour's win in '97, the war in Iraq - and I loved Emma.
I rarely cry when I read a book; I am much more likely to cry in response to something I have seen. Whether it was lost youth, the story itself or remembering first love(s) I have no idea but One Day still stays with me a week on and I would recommend it to anyone - although my friend's Mum didn't enjoy it, so perhaps it's ideal for a 40-something.
Oh and it's educational - I will always remember that 15 July is St Swithin's.

Lovely things

2011-03-26T07:20:00.002Z

Oh dear I've been away a while. Two and a half weeks!
It is fair to say that I am pretty risk averse so all the changes that have taken place at home and in my personal life have taken a little bit of time for me to work around. I'm not moaning; life is good - just diffferent with Dan out of the house so much.
So, I have let my blog go because, like most of us, it is part of a list of things we do after parenting and working.
Also on that list is knitting. crochet and reading. For the first time in a really long time I am reading a book that I cannot put down. I read it any second I have - when the kettle is boiling, whilst I'm eating and I am dreading its end, although I have to keep going as I am so keen to find out what happens. I have finished one little person's scarf, I will try to remember to photograph it another time and I am moving gradually through Jane Crowfoot's Crochet Club (when I say gradually: I am on the second section of the first month but everyone else is on month 3 now)
The much needed change in the weather and light means gardening has moved to a higher priority - and of course, in this house that means our home garden and the allotment. There is no nicer place than our plot on a sunny day and there is so much to do. Yesterday I spent two hours weeding just one and a half beds. I have not made a planting plan yet but the potatoes are chitting nicely and we always use plug plants rather than seeds anyway.
So, as the name suggests - lovely things......

I am sure I have gone on (and on) about daffodils but as someone who can be a little low as the seasons change I find daffodils help me focus on the light and warmth soon coming my way. These beauties were £1 from M&S and have filled four little vases around the house. The hyacinth was acidentally knocked over when I was mowing the lawn and I have to say I am pleased, as the smell has been incredible. In fact, my garden smells great at the end of a warm day - my obsession with blue hyacinth bulbs has paid off.

Last year, I took a deep breath and did some sewing, courtesy of Clothkits. It took me so long to pluck up the courage to start that Scarlett had nearly outgrown her dress by the time it was finished but it was so easy. Yesterday, their latest catalogue arrived:

This year, I am tempted to make Scarlett a doll (my eyes are drawn to the red-head with the green dress on the chair) but I also saw this little beauty:

On Thursday, I went to the Country Living Fair in London. It was a treat from my Aunt and we had such a great day - maybe some of the stuff isn't my cup of tea and dear me, do you need pointy elbows at some of the vintage stands - but it was so nice to have time browsing and chatting whilst discovering some great craft and creative stands. Having had my debit card declined at the station, my spending was limited but I think I did quite well:

Lovely organic cotton pyjamas from Fair Play - just look at the gingham trim on the legs and around the collar. Fingers crossed we will not have any nappy failures whilst these are on.

OK, so I know it isn't all bunting, gingham and homemade lemonade but there is something so appealing about space, air and greenery now that I live in a town. This cover just made me feel good, and hopeful, so I have subscribed. What a bargain (I say that as someone who works for a magazine) - £26.99 and this gift, which was selling for £25 on a separate stand:

I have coveted a Jan Constantine for some years now but the costs are quite prohibitive and I have never been sure that one of her cushions would work for us - but a purse? Now that is something I can work with.

Finally on my list of lovely things is my lovely daughter and a lovely time at the allotment yesterday. The broccoli was delicious, but that was all there was!

Tired Tuesday

2011-03-08T20:09:00.000Z

I am feeling low on words so here is my little bear at Jimmy's Farm:

Day 6

2011-03-03T22:08:00.000Z

My tonsils have nearly returned to normal leaving me with the beginnings of a nasty cold. I sound quite ~~snotty~~ sexy.
Today was a beautiful day but I couldn't bear to be at home again so I kicked around with Dan at the pub. We ordered hanging baskets, we priced coffee and tea, we ate lunch together, we gave the Ladies toilets a little bit of a colour, we purchased the paint for the hallways and we did some gardening.
The accommodation above the pub is, unfortunately, in a terrible state but it is so much bigger that I thought. Three bedrooms, a lounge, a bathroom and an en suite. Each room has some lovely charms - an enamel bath with claw feet, Victorian fireplaces and wide original floorboards.
At the moment there is no decision to be made, but with a deep clean and a lick of paint it could provide us with quite a dilemma.

Wanted : A Dummies Guide to Pruning

2011-03-02T15:47:00.003Z

I am trying really hard not to be ill today - it is such a lovely shiny day that I feel very uncomfortable staying indoors.
On my To Do List for a long time has been 'prune the wisteria'. This grows haphazardly up the front of the house. I love it for all that it promises but, as it never flowers, I don't really like it.
I have therefore left well alone the last two years and it has grown and grown, twisted and curled around itself and covered most of the front of the house as well as creeping up the side and even into the fascias. Such is its freedom that it pulled our phoneline out of the wall causing me to make several angry calls to Talk Talk before a BT engineer came out and showed me the torn wire (bizarrely, it cost me nothing).
So, I have just wobbled my way up a ladder and tried my best to get my wisteria to resemble all the trimmed and pruned ones that I see as I drive around.

Whilst up the ladder I realised I don't understanding pruning. I don't really have a plan of what I am trying to achieve. I have to ask my Dad each year what I am supposed to do to my rose bushes. With the wisteria, I think I am supposed to leave one strong main branch in each direction rather than bundles (although I can still see bundles in the photo) and I think this will 'condense' the energy into these branches so that we see some flowers. We definitely get enough sun.
This would be totally forgiveable had I not studied botany at college.....

Struck down - again?

2011-03-01T19:21:00.000Z

Oh dear, we have been so poorly. Is it me or have I been overcoming viruses since September last year?
Had I taken my Clever Friends advice and looked in Scarlett's mouth I might well have seen her tonsils and realised that this was coming my way but no, I went ahead with my cold virus diagnosis (with a five minute head-spinning 'is this Swine Flu?' moment) and now I have been struck down at one of the most busy and positive points in our lives.
So, here I sit whilst my husband stands behind his bar.

Just checking in

2011-02-22T14:25:00.001Z

OK, so Spring wasn't around the corner. It has been so cold in my corner of Suffolk that I have had to keep my spirits lifted with purchased daffodils, wine and knitting.
I've really enjoyed returning to my knitting. I popped into Twist in Woodbridge last week to just look and, guess what? I spent £13 I don't have on two balls of wool that just looked nice.
I had a lovely moment as I was wrestling my way out of the shop (toddler : buggy : red face). In the window was the shawl I made up for the Natural Dye Studio - the one that was featured in the Knitter - see below. Embarassingly I came over all flustered and emotional. I think the owner thought I was a bit confused and/or delusional.
Anyway, the wool is now being worked into my massive blanket. A replacement for the Sickie Blanket we had as children.
We have a very poorly toddler in the house - sleeping upright as I type.
It's just a cold, but my, what a cold.
She is now on Day Five. Days One and Two were grumpy and hot, Day Three was snotty and yesterday and today have been streaming, sneezing, glued hair, coughing, watery eyes and exhaustion.
In preparation for this period of sleeplessness, Dan and I had our family time-share last week - I was in Champneys for three heavenly days and he in Scotland for three drunken nights.
The hand-over of the pub is a week today.....

Is it Spring?

2011-02-06T10:46:00.001Z

I fell for it again. Earlier this morning we had sun, it was mild enough to open the windows and I could see bulbs coming through and leaf buds on my roses.
No sooner had I thought how nice it would be not to be wrapped in so many layers than the skies went grey and the temperature plummeted.
I'm now trying to warm up.

On becoming a Landlady

2011-02-03T20:21:00.004Z

I met my husband on Sunday 10 December 2000 on a trip to watch Ipswich play Liverpool (we won, one nil). My brother begrudgingly agreed to take me, with his then girlfriend and apologised profusely about our presence to this very tall man that was sat next to me on the backseat of a BMW.
Despite six years in age difference (he plays the younger man to my older woman) I learned of his amazing qualities during the long car journey. One of these was his passion for food and another his love for the pub where he had worked since he was a young boy.
On 28 January 2011 we heard that he will be the Landlord of this pub, The Greyhound in Ipswich, from 1 March. We cried, we hugged, we quickly drank a glass of champagne and then I left to work in Harrogate for 3 days.
So this week has been a time for the changes to sink in, a time for us to learn about everything from PPL Licences to VAT Registration and a time for us to thank everyone that has helped us along the way.
Of course, I'm not going to be found pulling pints (nor shouting 'Get Out Of My Pub!') and my name won't be above the door but I will be helping him make decisions, turning chaotic piles of paper into some semblance of a system and keeping everything ticking along at home so that he has somewhere to retreat when he gets the chance.
It is a big change for us, but it is also a very simple progression.
For this is who he always was.

Christening the new apron

2011-01-19T16:50:00.002Z

Apron made by Nicky, cheese scones made by us for Daddy.

Adding to my To Do list and clearing my mind

2011-01-17T21:04:00.002Z

I signed up to Jane Crowfoot's Crochet Club last year and then pretty much forgot all about it until this big box of beautiful yarn arrived last Sunday.
I am now trying hard to finish off my commissions, get on top of all the work I suddenly seem to have picked up and accept more sleep deprivation at the hands of a really small dog so that I can get started.

On Saturday I was encouraged to escape to Hertfordshire for a day's knitting - I hardly ever pick up my needles anymore so this was a real treat. I cannot recommend time spent at Dancing Hens enough.

I even learned how to block my work and now I know why I should do it.
Saying goodbye to curly edges......

A word or two on the beautiful game

2011-01-13T21:51:00.001Z

I've watched some wonderful football at Portman Road over the years but it has been pretty rubbish over the last few seasons. Lately I've really struggled to keep hopeful and to view this as a good use of my time and money.
Yesterday we went to watch a game on a wet night that we had no chance of winning. We only really went as it was against Arsenal and playing a team like them is just so exciting when you only get to see great football on the television.
And then we won. Just like that.
Today the world is a better place and there is hope.

New Year, New Me?

2011-01-09T07:01:00.003Z

When I was younger, or perhaps when I had more time on my hands, I would spend ages planning New Year Resolutions. I have books and diaries filled with new rules, new ideas and new aims.
Two years ago, it was suggested to me that resolving to do less, not more was the way forward. I felt this was a great idea. Surely resolutions suggest that you don't think you are good enough as you are?
Last year, I had forgotten all that and reverted to some pledges. Here is how I did:
Knit a Pair of Socks - started but not finished.
Eat More Real Food - tick.
Think 'Does it really matter?' Before I React - nice idea, not a hope.
Learn How to Use Skype - my computer keyboard locked when it was installed.
Listen to More Music, Watch Less Television - no more or less than usual I suspect, although I did create an attachment to the Archers ...?
Stop Taking Scarlett To Classes She Doesn't Enjoy - This started well but we spent a whole summer term with me doing Toddler Yoga and Scarlett sitting in a corner.
To Keep Scarlett at Home When She Is Having A Bad Day - as she had a pretty tough 2010 this would have become a little claustrophobic.
To Make Sure Dan Knows How Much I Appreciate Him - again, a tough 2010 but I think we ended well.

How was I to know we were going to have such a tough, tired and challenging year.
I'm lucky I achieved anything.

So, what to do for this year? I wrote a few things inside my diary (just because everyone kept asking me what I had resolved) but one week on I'm feeling a bit more realistic - so here are my New Year Hopes:
I want to finish 2011 with all the people I start with.
I intend to prioritise myself and my family throughout the year.
I need to use or lose the gym and the allotment.
I'd really like to finish those socks, visit Scotland, find a sewing course and for Dan to follow his dreams.

Happy New Year

2011-01-01T13:24:00.000Z

This is my first post typed exclusively on my iPhone and, I'm sure, the first time I have blogged from bed. I woke up a little tired and grumpy you see so Dream Husband has taken over. I've even had breakfast in bed.
I feel life has been a little out of control since Christmas so I have not made any plans, nor resolutions for 2011.
I will be back with them, and a reflective look at last Year's.
In the meantime love and best wishes xx

Missing husband, iPhone love and Christmas cards

2010-12-17T21:11:00.003Z

I have friends married to farmers and they seem to spend most of their summers alone. Being married to a chef is similar, but seasonally different.
Apart from the sorrow of not sharing this lovely time of the year, there are some pluses -

I finished work yesterday (for three whole weeks) so I have no need of childcare.
As he is barely here he makes no mess.
After Christmas we will have more disposable income than usual.
Once this is over I will be rewarded with a monumental lie-in, and I will drink tea and read a book.

After a ten week wait, our iPhones arrived. Slightly reduced phone reception aside, I love it. I find the process of typing text messages special, having facebook and twitter at my fingertips is wonderful but dangerous (the Stealth Pooer has struck twice whilst I have been distracted) and it is just so beautiful. Even the charger is downright cool.

There is only one thing bothering me at the moment and that is Christmas cards (although technically that is more than one thing). We have received lots and lots and I am grateful but I have only opened a few. I am avoiding them because I haven't written any. I have a box, or three, on the table with a pen and stamps but a quick glance at my address book last night made me realise I haven't got nearly enough. And that's not taking into account the ones that have been sent by people who I have forgotten about.
So, I have to open the ones we have received, hang them, make a list, buy more, write them and post them - knowing there is no way they will make it in time.

Santa Claus is coming to town ...

2010-12-11T20:26:00.002Z

.... with Mother Christmas, Frosty the Snowman (with his carrot nose), a tree and a present.
We're all decorated, the shopping is done and Dan is missing much of the time (as all good chefs should be at this time of the year).
PS I've lost 7lbs on my incredibly easy diet. Wow.

The poo on the floor

2010-11-30T16:18:00.001Z

I thought I would talk a little bit about Audrey (aka D-Dog). She was such a problematic little soul over the summer but has really come good. She is fine when she is left, sleeps at night, walks miles every morning in all weathers and is Scarlett's best friend.
However, she is a stealth pooer. We put her outside, she comes back in, we put on the kettle and there is a poo on the floor by the front door, we are all in the sitting room (or so we think) and there is a poo on the floor, I keep her in the kitchen with me so I can watch her like a hawk, she goes into the garden every fifteen minutes and still there is a POO ON THE FLOOR.
She obviously has some incorrect learning, it is obviously our failing not hers, she obviously finds herself in the wrong place at the right time but honestly .........

Phase One Done

2010-11-29T20:16:00.003Z

Last week was hard work but I am through it and now I am eating normal food again.
A big sigh of relief all round, I suspect, as I was quite literally a bear with a sore head.
Having taken advice it appears my headaches were so bad as it was more to do with sugar and wheat than caffeine so I am steering well clear and it seems all my cravings seems to have disappeared.
I now notice how many times I popped a dried apricot in my mouth when I passed the cupboard, a piece of chocolate from the fridge door (nice and dark so healthy, right?), finished off Scarlett's buttery toast in the mornings, kept returning to the pan of tomato pasta on the hob.
You get the picture......
Oh, and I'm two and a half pounds lighter.

One word ....

2010-11-25T21:50:00.000Z

....headaches.
Was I really so toxic? When I started the extreme Phase One of this diet I didn't think it would make me feel so bad but oh my goodness. One afternoon I even had to go to bed.
I want to know what causes the headaches. A quick search on the internet tells me that either my body is 'getting used to the dramatic reduction in poisons', that the toxins circulate the body on their way out and affect certain areas or that it's all to do with coffee and how it blocks receptors in the brain that can dilate blood vessels causing headaches.
More worryingly I have just found an article on a woman who suffered brain damage following a detox.
That is why you shouldn't do too much research on the internet.

Have I found the answer?

2010-11-19T19:47:00.002Z

My relationship with food is interesting. I eat plenty but I am rarely happy when I am eating. I care a huge amount about the quality of what goes into my mouth but sometimes I seem unable to control the quantity. I am not obese but I'm not skinny and I've always carried a few extra pounds - sometimes a few extra stone. I'm quite clever, I know all the theories and I have opinions on every diet going so why am I not as slim as I would like to be?
I have a really bright friend who has similar problems. She sent me an e mail today about Zoe Harcombe and the Harcombe Diet. This same friend previously leant me a book called The Diet Delusion - I haven't even started it, but perhaps now I don't need to (yay!).
This diet is based on the theories in that hefty book; they are as follows:

In The Diet Delusion, Gary Taubes says the evidence is that weight gain is not a simple calories in = calories out and can't be solved by more self-control or exercise. It's all about insulin causing the body to store fat.
Our obesity epidemic is not because we are lazy or eating too much meat but from our increase in the consumption of sugar, white flour and white rice.
Taubes also says that fat is constantly going in and out of fat cells but insulin interferes with this movement so the excess fat is stored. This then starves your cells of the background energy that is normally constantly coming out of fat cells and is why you feel hungry and lethargic.
People are not fat because they are greedy and lazy but because hunger and lethagy are the symptoms of being sensitive to insulin and hence overweight.

I'll let you know how I get on.

Why I'm having a break from facebook

2010-11-15T20:47:00.021Z

I'm having a self-imposed break from facebook. I've been enjoying its charms a little too much lately, posting daily status updates and wasting plenty of time reading about other people's lives. And then it happened. I wrote an amusing anecdote, randomly made a friend cross and he/she showed their displeasure with a pointed comment that around 300 people could have read. We've to'd and fro'd a bit, the comment has been removed, but our friendship is in a bit of a state.
I was on facebook in the early days and then one day cancelled my account and left well alone. I found the intimacy too much I suppose. I then started this blog and gradually moved into twitter. Then I returned to facebook (damn them for remembering my login details) and have been having some fun.
But there is a certain section of social networking that I find quite scary - people living every minute of their day through their updates, saying things that are surely not for broadcasting and writing remarks that wouldn't pass the lips if the writer was looking into the eyes of the person it was directed towards.
Here are my own personal rules for twitter, facebook, e mails and this blog:
I try not to write anything too personal about people other than me.
I try not to vent.
I only say what I am confident enough to be overheard saying (I think I have broken this rule once, but I'm only human).
So I will tell you that I am taking some time out from facebook to stop peering into other people's lives but the truth is that I am scared of seeing more comments regarding my recent melee.

My clever friend

2010-11-11T19:25:00.001Z

This necklace is designed by my friend Nicky and is in the latest issue of Simply Knitting (although it's crochet).
She would be dangerous if she knew how talented she was.
By the way, I will write properly soon .....

My handiwork

2010-11-03T10:34:00.000Z

The latest issue of The Knitter

Our first Halloween

2010-10-31T20:55:00.000Z

Well, Scarlett refused to wear the Scary Red Fairy dress and we had very few callers to the door but we had a great time. We baked cakes, made biscuits, got covered in icing, ate hot dogs and laughed, alot.

Good gourd!

2010-10-18T19:56:00.001+01:00

I was given some plants by a friendly family at the allotments earlier in the year but the snails ate most of them (along with pretty much everything else I planted). Only one plant remained, although I wasn't sure if I had a pumpkin or a squash on my hands.

I have looked after it religiously - watering it, sometimes just looking at it and then lifting the one (very precious) fruit off the soil with a combination of cut grass and a cardboard egg tray.

It was still not ripe before we went on holiday so I have spent many moments in deepest darkest Yorkshire worrying about our first Pumpkin. Would it rot? Would it get nibbled? Or worse, stolen?

I always try to believe in the power of nature - and here it is, perfect and really fleshy. The cut section is roasting in the oven, the seeds are on the windowsill and the rest will be made into soup tomorrow.

Oh, and the wine is long gone.

A very good cake

2010-10-05T13:28:00.001+01:00

I suppose I should be one of those women who love Nigella, but I'm really more of a Nigel fan. Nigel Slater's love of simple food, natural ingredients and eating with the seasons is much more up my street.
So here I share with you just about the nicest cake I have made in ages.

Courgette Cake
Serves 8

200g butter
200g golden caster sugar
2 free range eggs
150g courgettes (about 2 small ones)
A small apple
200g plain flour
A large pinch of salt
Half teaspoon baking powder
Half teaspoon cinnamon
60g walnuts
80g sultanas

Set the oven to 180C / gas mark 4.
Line a loaf tin measuring 20cm x 12cm x 9cm deep.
Cream the butter and sugar until light and fluffy.
Beat the eggs and mix them in, one at a time.
Coarsely grate the courgette and the apple. Wring them out with your fist to remove any excess moisture.
Then add to the mixture.
Gently fold in the flour, salt, baking powder and cinnamon.
Stir in the nuts and fruit.
Transfer to the tin and cook for 60-65 minutes.
Allow to cool in the tim before turning out.

Chicken Pox - how we managed

2010-09-29T11:19:00.000+01:00

Alternate baths of bicarbonate of soda (two tablespoons) and oats in a muslin (thank goodness for all those Liz Earle cloths).
Calpol for the first three days, Piriton Syrup after that.
Calamine cream - soooo much easier than the lotion of my childhood.
Fireman Sam on the television - apparently there are 29 episodes of the new version and I have only two more to see to have a full house. (My favourite character is Dilys Price for her muddling of simple phrases : "oooh, it's so aromatic out here tonight" and calling a dream catcher "a cream snatcher").
Keeping Scarlett in one cotton nightdress for the entire time so that nothing rubbed. I overcame my horror of such slovernly behaviour by thinking it was probably so caked in calamine cream that it was working like a sunsuit.
Remembering that it is usually a textbook virus and will start to improve around day 5. Sure enough today, Day Six, she is all scabs and the really nasty spots are purple, not red.

And now I've lost the sofa ...

2010-09-24T19:01:00.003+01:00

One word. Chickenpox.
15 blisters counted in the bath tonight; I think Spotty Maldoon will greet us in the morning.
My rest is not going so well. I am a mother above all else so it's OK not going to work but I can't just lie here. My head won't rest either. I feel, oh , fraught, guilty and above all I am worried. If I did this to myself, which seems to be the conscensus of opinion, then how do I stop it happening again? Am I supposed to be having an epiphany whilst I lie on the sofa (or not, as it happens)?
And when will I feel better? When will I be on top of everything again? When will I be able to put my daughter to bed without struggling to catch my breath afterwards?

I am on the sofa ...

2010-09-23T12:01:00.004+01:00

----on Doctor's orders. I have viral myalgia and my first ever sick note for ten days off work.
I have been dragging myself around for the last few weeks (or perhaps months) with headaches, a persistent sore throat, an inability to make simple decisions, aches and pains but yesterday I noticed lumps and bumps in my scalp and neck that I couldn't ignore.
Lymph nodes, apparently.
I have had, or now have, a virus that I can't fight and my body is doing all it can to say STOP.
Of course, I have been ignoring it.
Dan asked me last night if I honestly thought the world would stop spinning if I spent ten days resting.
Hmm, I said.

Barking dogs and the love of a good stitch

2010-09-16T20:31:00.000+01:00

Love
I've hardly seen Dan this week, he's working, working or working. Next week looks a little easier, if only as he will be home in the afternoons - not only does he get a break but I can use the time to do dull stuff like tidying up, putting away the washing or answering work e mails. All the things I can't really do when I am in charge of two lunatics and an elderly dog [wouldn't that be a great title for a blog?].

Life
We seem to be a house of bugs and viruses this week. I've had a 24 hour vomiting and aching joint bug, Scarlett has had a cold, Dan now has a sore throat (which I'm now getting) and even Audrey has had, well, a messy bum.

I am trying to introduce Audrey to gentle separations from us during the day. We had a low point over the weekend when I had to leave them for an hour and asked my neighbour if she could hear anything - only to find out that Matisse (grumpy elderly dog) had barked for the full hour. We now seem to have cracked his upsets by letting them have access to the kitchen and sitting room during the short times we are out so that he can settle on the sofa and think I don't know.

Knitting
I've just read Woolly Wormhead's request for people to tell her how they fell in love with knitting and I've been thinking about how my love started at 6 when my beloved Nanny taught me, became illicit during my school and university years when it was really not very cool and my bags were stashed behind sofas, became very passionate around the year 2000 once it started to become more mainstream and I discovered Rowan and then helped me lose weight by giving me something to do when I would otherwise have eaten a second helping.
To be honest, my love of knitting and crochet has become more of a dependence nowadays - when my world seems to be closing in on me and I need something repetitive to work in time with my breathing, there it is. I really don't think I could cope without it.

Peace amidst chaos #2

2010-09-14T09:39:00.000+01:00

Where to start?

2010-09-11T15:45:00.029+01:00

Love
There we were pondering Dan's hearing problems when really he had a bone eating disease (very close to the brain?). He returned to work this week after what turned out to be quite major surgery and I am happy to report that my chirpy husband has returned - I'm not sure I've seen him in the last few months.
Life
Scarlett is almost sleeping through the night again. She is also the proud owner of 20 teeth. Phew. Her Opthamologist tells us her eye has progressed enough for the patch to be needed for just one hour a day. Our Cold Turkey approach to removing the baby bottle in the mornings has not been so successful so the Battle of MeMore (her name for the bottle) continues.
Audrey continues to tip our life upside down. She is almost toilet trained but, like all toddlers, a bouncy period of play can lead to a wee on the floor around the time my brain thinks ' that's a bouncy period of play, she'll need to go out for a wee'. On the plus side she walks beautifully, puts up with all sorts of experiences and we now have her off the lead on the morning walk. The whinging when separated is still a bit of an issue but I'm trying not to let it get me down.
Knitting
I have finally started knitting a pair of socks. I think that has been on my 'Things to do' list for several years. I am a member of the Natural Dye Studios Sock Club so there was no excuse really. I'm still knitting my massive blanket and I am crocheting another beautiful commissioned shawl but I needed something I could do whilst parenting and I wanted something I couldn't put down - a bit like a good book - and the socks have hit the spot. It's also my first time knitting on 3 (or is it 4?) needles so I've learned a skill at a time when I would have thought I was lacking the capacity to learn something new.

Four legs good

2010-08-24T07:55:00.001+01:00

Dan has mastoid surgery today. He has had his tea and toast and is now walking the dogs - although I did see him carrying Audrey out of the door. She has turned out to be a really sweet little dog. She puts up with all sorts of hysterical excitement from Scarlett, walks really well on the lead (for me), is almost toilet trained, sleeps all night (still in the box but not so close to me now) and takes the attentions of other dogs in her stride. She has a few separation issues, but you can't have everything.
[They've just walked in, Audrey has all 4 feet on the floor - a good sign].

Peace within chaos #1

2010-08-18T12:25:00.002+01:00

So now I'm confused ...

2010-08-17T08:06:00.004+01:00

I feel confident in saying that we are now sleeping. We haven't had to get up to Scarlett (or Audrey) for three nights and the last two nights there hasn't been a peep from either of them.
Don't let my factual tone fool you - it has been bloody and we have teetered on the edge of irrationality, exhaustion and a breakdown in marital pleasantries.
So, what worked? Well the cardboard box in the bedroom for Audrey was a genius idea and within two nights she was sleeping for 7 to 8 hours. Most importantly she was showing us she could hold her bladder and bowels for 7 to 8 hours. Scarlett was not so simple; we felt that she had recreated an attachment to baby bottles for comfort. We had started giving them to her in the day and during the night, whenever she cried out for 'More' really. [The use of More is not easy to explain, suffice to say it occured from my muddled approach to signing.]
So, we entered a period of cold turkey that was about as easy as having a child come off other addictive substances, I suspect. Anyway, we stuck with it but on Day 2 she woke up with a red face, nappy rash and a mouth she said was 'thore'.
So was it just ANOTHER molar, rather than an addiction to bottles?
Answers on a postcard ....

It's always good to have a plan

2010-08-05T11:58:00.003+01:00

Three quite major things happened to us yesterday.
Firstly, I hit rock bottom, admitted I was struggling with Audrey and sought help (more on that later).
Secondly, our ten year old terrier Matisse got lost during his morning walk and was eventually located via the Dog Warden. We have no idea how this happened, we have joked that he is a bit tired but I suspect he was distracted by something smelly and then couldn't see Dan. Anyway, he was picked up by a very kind lady, about two minutes from our home.
I never had him down as a homing pigeon.
Needless to say the 90 minutes he was missing were the longest and boy did I cry some big tears.
Finally, I was dragged out for a meal on the Lady Florence - we had a great time, lovely food and met some interesting other diners but for quite a while I just sat on deck with my eyes closed, breathing fresh air. Dan then took the sofa shift so I had some proper in-your-own-bed sleep for the first time in 6 nights.
So, back to Audrey. I am lucky to have friends in very high places so when I admitted defeat I e mailed Gwen Bailey. She kindly sent me a long e mail that I read this morning and we are now looking at a way of rearing Audrey that sits nicely alongside the way I rear Scarlett.
Firstly no need for the crate and the (horrendous) ignoring her until she stops screaming and learns that no-one is coming. Instead, it is OK for us to have a large cardboard box by the bed or sofa. We can all get some sleep and Audrey can learn to settle. I'll still hear her move when she needs the toilet so I can maintain the progress we have made in that area.
Secondly, no more worrying about forcing her to be separated from me in the day so that she will cope when I next try to leave her. Instead we are using the childgate and her natural sleep time for her to have increasing periods of time separated from me, but near me. Each day we will practice and gradually increase the time and distance between us.
Here is the outcome of Day One.
We had a really successful 5 minutes. I was keeping close to Audrey whilst distance managing Scarlett who had been let loose on a bubble machine.

Thank you, whoever you were ..

2010-08-02T19:36:00.002+01:00

Scarlett is now overlapping molars so is up every night, more than once. Audrey is no better, waking every hour or hour and a half. I am sleeping on the sofa with her near me (but slowly increasing the distance between us) and Dan is upstairs, occasionally sharing our bed with our daughter.
I think we are running almost on empty.
On my way home from work I thought I would return a highchair that has been on the back seat of the car for the last three months to a friend (before delivering a very late birthday present to another friend). I saw this lady looking at me as I was wrestling around in the back of the car and wondered if I had parked in the wrong place. It turns out she reads this blog and recognised me from my photo.
How incredible is that? Incredible in that she recognised me - that photo was taken at Latitude in 2007 when I had been on 8 hours sleep a night for the previous 36 years - and to be honest incredible that anyone other than my friends and family read this.
I think she was pretty amazed by the whole moment, but honestly the pleasure was all mine.
I almost skipped home - thank you, whoever you were ....

Out and about

2010-08-01T20:45:00.001+01:00

As Audrey hasn't finished her injections yet, she has to stay off the ground and can only run around in our garden. However we need to start gradually exposing her to the big wide world, so yesterday we took a trip to town. Scarlett had books, Audrey had a prime seat and we didn't get anywhere fast as people kept stopping us every few minutes.

Let Sleeping Dogs Lie

2010-07-30T19:53:00.001+01:00

This little beauty can really make some noise when she is left alone. Sleep is something of a treat at the moment (the molar is still slowly and bravely tunneling its way through Scarlett's gum) but last night I was on the sofa with this little grub snuggled alongside me. We had tried putting her in her crate in the kitchen, where she slept so well on her first night, but she had howled and howled. I stumbled around the house with the crate, trying to find a good spot to settle. Eventually, Dan found me, removed Audrey from the crate, put her on my lap and wandered off. Then Scarlett woke up.

My name is Audrey

2010-07-29T19:57:00.001+01:00

I'm loving this ...

2010-07-23T13:42:00.002+01:00

.... and if I had the time, I would make it!
http://www.craftycrafty.tv/2010/07/quick_craft_little_squares_sca.html

My 100th post

2010-07-22T11:27:00.001+01:00

My first post was on Thursday 5 February 2009, I have posted once every ten days - or thereabouts (you do the maths: 78 weeks, 100 posts). I follow lots of blogs and everyone else seems to have a theme, not I.

I have covered topics as diverse as PMT, crochet, toddler taming, baking badly, feeling snowed under and growing vegetables.
I also joined Twitter that day, again, no plan just whatever comes into my head when I remember to update.
Never a trendsetter, always a follower.
'Twas ever thus.

There's light at the end of this tunnel

2010-07-15T18:57:00.006+01:00

My self-imposed break from anything that wasn't crochet, work or Scarlett has left me unsure how to rejoin the world I once knew. There I was pottering around a beach hut in Felixstowe and then spending a week in Cornwall when suddenly I returned to a complex lace shawl to crochet, press releases for three companies to write, a 6 hour marketing workshop to plan and prepare, posters and flyers to distribute for two events, numerous items on a very long work To Do list, a home that seemed continually coated in dust and dog hair, an allotment that was drying to a crisp, a gorgeous daughter turning into an insomniac courtesy of a molar and a deaf husband being told (and hearing) that he needs mastoid surgery.

I know I've been busy as I can't tell you when I last painted my nails and what my toe nails look like.

Three weeks on and I can see the end. Once the workshop is delivered (and I've successfully negotiated my way from Ipswich to Warwick and back again), the shawl has been returned to its rightful owner and I have sent the final posters I'll be back to normal.

But what is normal for me? I do so many different things and am lucky that I am quite good at most of them, but that can be a curse as well as a blessing. I am not the person who focuses on one thing - who has one job or one hobby. I am the person who says 'I can do that', and does it, but ends up pretty frazzled.

This phase is good frazzled though; I'm pleased to report that 150mg of GLA delivered via Evening Primrose Oil is exactly what I needed.

The ratio of three weeks bad, one week good has definitely shifted.

Almost back

2010-07-14T19:58:00.004+01:00

The long period of commissioned crochet came to an end today. With Scarlett awake at 4.45am (I know!) I was able to get on a bit earlier than normal and this afternoon was spent in bed listening to the radio whilst sewing, weaving ends and finishing off the final motif.
More another day; tonight I rest and watch TV - I'll have to sit on my hands.

I see no ships

2010-06-14T21:02:00.002+01:00

We love our rented beach hut very much.

This one's for Eric

2010-06-11T20:31:00.004+01:00

I lost someone this week. I had known him nearly 20 years and we had shared the best of times and worst of times. Over the last year or so, we had found our balance and talked about vegetable growing, sport and life, rather than the business we both cared so passionately about. I will miss him - he made our rabbit's hutch, he was instrumental in me getting an allotment and he drove a car I seem to see everywhere.
I have hidden myself in work this week - it felt right - but now I have a two week self-imposed break and I am hoping the methodical nature of crochet, the activity of digging and weeding as well as a beach hut and the football I love so much will get me through.

Peace and quiet

2010-06-04T10:00:00.004+01:00

A whole day ahead and not much more to do than some gardening, washing, crocheting and parenting. I have been a little manic lately so the sun is shining and we have our sun block - if you need me I'll be in the garden.

If you want something done ..

2010-05-31T09:29:00.005+01:00

So far this weekend I have

Planted tomato, squash, cucumber, courgette and runner bean plants at the allotment (now I am too scared to go up again to check on them as I suspect they have been munched - again).
Spent ages watering all my plants without checking the weather forecast.
Written up all the client reports that I was ignoring.
Cleaned downstairs.
Thinned the swede and weeded around the asparagus, carrots and sweetcorn seedlings (oh and the one beetroot!)
Crocheted enough flowers to finish the first round of commissions for Nicki.
Visited my lovely Nanny.
Made some chocolate shortbread.
Crocheted a lace motif (on a 2mm hook!)
Watched Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day (as well as the Grand Prix, England v Japan, caught up on the Chelsea Flower Show and an old Jonathan Creek episode).
Had a lovely brunch at this cafe and then popped in to marvel at friends in their caravan during a huge downpour.
Entertained my rampant two year old with few confrontations apart from a meltdown of Exorcist proportions in the bath Saturday night when a Postman Pat book was removed from her tight grasp (on previous evenings she has gone to bed with a plastic toilet seat and pink star as they could cope with getting wet).

And there's still a whole day ahead.

I've created a space

2010-05-27T21:05:00.006+01:00

This space has been many things in the three years we have lived here. It has been an empty space, it has been a dressing table for the friends that never seem to come and stay, it has been a table for working from home and a desk for Open University - but now it is a space to create. I have lots of creating to do at the moment so rather than juggle my books, yarn, sewing box etc they can now spread out and stay out.

Dan has looked after Scarlett a bit lately and has been in charge of her wardrobe. Earlier this week he dressed her in a smock top. When I got home he asked me if he was supposed to have got her arms through the plastic loops. Bless.
In a bid to gradually introduce her to the concept of toilet training we have a plastic potty and toilet seat residing in the bathroom. Scarlett loves sitting on the potty but thinks the toilet seat is a steering wheel so it is now known as 'car'.
I'm not sure if she was a bit overtired yesterday but 'car' became such a focus of attachment that it was in the bath, held onto so tightly that I had to wrap the towel over the both of them and then taken to bed and chatted to for over two hours. I sneaked in late to gently remove it from her hand and have since hid it.
The first thing she asked for this morning? 'Mummy'. The second thing ... 'car'.

Keeping cool

2010-05-25T14:08:00.003+01:00

Once I started ...

2010-05-23T09:29:00.003+01:00

... I just couldn't stop (just as well, as I have lots and lots to make).

Wanted: a mind less complex

2010-05-21T20:24:00.009+01:00

Just a quick check in - all is well but I have been struggling to keep my head above the water, once again.
It appears I have raging hormones that only give me one happy and bubbly week a month. Perhaps that is why I started to write this blog in the first place - looking back, anytime when I have been ravaged with self-doubt, consumed with immense anxiety, struggling to cope with my beautiful daughter, irrationally angry towards my super-helpful and kind husband, desperate at the thought of another moment in my home or dreaming of a life somewhere else it has coincided with these monthly phases.
I am so embarassed that I have this affliction - I believe and trust in equality and yet I am not equal when I cannot cope for three out of four weeks of each and every month.
As I sit here in a good phase, acknowledging and aware of what has been happening, here are some things I know
a) I put myself under immense pressure - whether adding a monthly book group to my long To Do list, to baking our bread, through to trying to work almost full-time from home with minimal childcare.
b) I don't have a hobby that I can rely on during these 'down' times. I knit, crochet, garden, grow vegetables, read, run and write but all in phases - not exclusively or even daily.
c) I am rubbish at taking time out for me. As a general rule, I don't want to stay away or even be out for a day (although I am going out tomorrow - more about that in another post, no doubt), it just doesn't feel right somehow. Obviously I go to work, try to go to the gym and occasionally go out in the evening but each one of those is preceded by long periods of procrastination and a hope that some minor incident will enable me to cancel.
d) I am an all or nothing type - but maybe that's the nature of this particular beast?

So, what to do? Well, I have been to see the doctor so I have a plan. There is little I can do medically whilst I remain hopeful of another natural pregnancy, but there are things I can do.
And tomorrow is another day.

Eggs and chickens (and ducks)

2010-05-13T19:33:00.008+01:00

I'm not sure which came first, my Dad's crush on Felicity Kendal or our attempt at running a smallholding. In fact, I'm not even sure the two were linked - either way, I was lucky enough to grow up with a goat, some chickens, sheep, a horse, dogs and feral cats. In the midst of this amazing opportunity was an experience that I still struggle to overcome. One day, I cracked an egg into a pan and there was a dead chick (thank god it was dead when you think about it). Since then I have become an egg facist - they need to be really fresh, really cold and are always cracked into a bowl first. I avoid all eggs that I'm not sure about.
So yesterday, when we bumped into our friends at the allotment and they gave us two boxes of eggs from their chickens and ducks, I was already working out how to rehome them as I smiled.
We donated one box to our neighbours in return for last night's supper, which just left three eggs looking for a home ...

... when whipped together with some parsley from the garden, they made the most perfectly fresh and tasty omelette.

The best £3.50 I've spent in a long time

2010-05-11T14:20:00.003+01:00

2010-05-05T13:09:00.005+01:00

Just been to the allotment (twice this week - you can tell I need to be out of the home). All is well although not too many seeds poking their heads through. I don't seem to have lost anymore plants - the last head count was 6 tomatoes, 2 courgettes and a globe artichoke - although a couple of the beans have been slaughtered by the multitude of snails that gravitate towards our plot as they get to live, feed and eat without stumbling on a blue pellet. A neighbour told me that we had just missed a pair of magpies methodically hunting on our plot - don't you just love nature.
This morning I planted some raspberry canes in the garden, we also have lettuces, tomatoes and peas doing well - can you tell I'm a bit obsessed with Alys Fowler? I'd quite like to dress like her too ....!

Wife on a Short Fuse

2010-05-03T20:19:00.003+01:00

I had plans for this weekend, not big plans, but the sort of 'little bit of time to myself' kind of plans. Unfortunately none of these had happened when I stomped off to bed at 8pm last night with the really grown up - 'I'm just so bored'. Having humphed and sulked my way through this morning I eventually told the assembled family that I wanted to watch this week's epsiode of the Edible Garden with no interruptions so off I went with my salad (including homegrown lettuce leaves, how authentic). Having improved my malaise slightly I then stomped the dog around the streets for 45 minutes in the hail/sun/rain/wind. I felt better, I was grateful for what I have and even managed to ignore another pile of washing up that had developed in the intervening period. More importantly, things seemed to have improved at home too.
Maybe sometimes it's good to be childish ..

Two and beyond

2010-04-29T19:09:00.015+01:00

Scarlett turned two on Monday. I read a lovely Patrick Gale book once that talked about a mother who, although a bit rubbish in many ways, always spent her child's birthday doing whatever the child wanted. I decided there and then to make that a family tradition (not the being rubbish bit).
Obviously Scarlett isn't able to tell me what she wants to do just yet (and if she could I suspect it would be to spend all day filling her watering can and sitting on the floor next to her, drawing owls and snakes).
So this is what we came up with on her behalf ....

An early start in the garden playing with her new gardening set and bubble machine.

A family cooked breakfast followed by presents (presents and more presents!)

A trip to Baylham Rare Breeds farm and a close encounter with chickens, sheep and goats (and Mummy)

Some new shoes (I am now wondering why on earth I thought this was a good colour for a toddler).

After all the excitement and activity, a snooze occured on the way to Pizza Express so we left her and had a few minutes of adult time before the food arrived.

Dough balls and salad were followed by a pizza and a huge ice cream (that Dan kept trying to eat).

And then home for some drawing (owls and snakes) on her new easel.

Sweet or sour?

2010-04-22T19:15:00.009+01:00

Over the last six weeks I have stopped eating sugar and yeast, I have upped my vegetable intake fourfold, I haven't had a drink since December 31 and I have started every day with a cup of hot water and lemon and finished it by religiously writing down everything I have eaten.
I have lost another half stone (add that to the stone I lost between July and November) so I am lighter than I have been in about ten years - before I met my chef, doubled my food intake and then had a baby.
I'm just not sure I feel better though. I'm happier with how I look and more confident. I seem to be less imbalanced and not as keen on chocolate at 4pm but full of energy, with clear skin and no PMT? If only ...
As for the diary filling - someone told me to do it so I do. Sometimes I am barely able to keep my eyes open once I have tidied my way to bed, washed my face, cleaned my teeth, applied eye cream/face cream/heel cream/handcream, filled in the food diary and written my daily diary. At that point, I then try to read my book. Dan (who probably came to bed after me, was in bed before me and has read several pages) then turns out his light and sleeps like a baby.
Last night, I didn't read long enough so I seemed to be awake for ages and then Scarlett started crying in her sleep, then going quiet, then crying in her sleep again. Finally she was awake at 4. Yes 4.
Perhaps today is not the day to best judge if my energy levels have been raised with the new eating regime?

How to make a small child cry

2010-04-15T20:04:00.005+01:00

Scarlett has been talking incessantly about bubbles lately. Bubbles at breakfast, bubbles at lunch and bubbles at teatime. Most notably, bubbles whenever she sees her spotty sleeping bag.
It dawned on me yesterday that bubble is in fact Mr Tumble from Something Special (he wears spots, hence the bedtime bubbles)
This morning I thought it would be fun if we both tried to call for Mr Tumble only, without a television in the bedroom for him to magically appear on, this backfired momentously with lots and lots of tears, screaming and launching onto the floor.
To be honest she didn't really recover all day.

Rhubarb, rhubarb, rhubarb

2010-04-10T13:43:00.009+01:00

We visited the allotment this morning, even the dog came along. We dug, weeded and planted - peas and leeks this week. The sun was shining and everyone was happy so we were there for nearly two hours. A large pile of 'free' woodchips had been put onto the edge of our plot so I met lots of other people as we all took as many as we could as quickly (and politely) as we could. Apparently the Council are also going to be dropping off some compost - the product of our brown bins I suppose - so I'd better pay the annual fee before they terminate our ownership. You'd think I'd pay the bill for something that makes me so happy as soon as it arrives.
Dan reluctantly left for work, he has a low-key wedding party to feed, so Scarlett and I replenished our missing calories and now she is coughing her way through her afternoon nap.
I have mowed the lawn, hung the washing out and washed up so there is nothing much more to do than get started on a knitted dress using the diagram and scribbled notes that I painstakingly drew up last night and keep one eye on Notts Forest v Ipswich.
Oh and stew the homegrown rhubarb, of course.

I had a lovely day

2010-04-08T19:39:00.004+01:00

I'm a little late checking in on my day out in the big smoke - suffice to say, I had a great time. In fact, any spare time I have had since coming home has been spent looking through old patterns, really old patterns, for some inspiration.
Watch this space...
Oh - by the way - sometimes the wool shops that look beautiful and welcoming on their website are not as pretty and kind on the inside.

Bring it on

2010-04-06T12:22:00.015+01:00

In preparation for tomorrow's Big Day Out I have finished off a few projects that were stuck in my unimaginative zone. Firstly we have the Dumpling cardie - an absolute favourite present when Scarlett was born, now recreated in a larger size.

The pattern is from Rowan and uses Big Wool - but I cheated with the much cheaper Sirdar Big Softie. In many ways it is better as it is also washable - but it's not very strong and broke several times when I was sewing up.

Next on the list was the Clothkits pinafore dress. I am very in love with this, and thankfully so is Scarlett.

In fact I am quite happy with both and feel ready for inspiration tomorrow - and if I don't get any, then I am happy just to have time to read on the train!

Missing: knitting mojo

2010-04-01T19:26:00.005+01:00

I am suffering a creativity block. I can't knit, I can't seem to write and I also can't get excited about anything crafty. I am hoping it is just a phase and I will feel much more chipper when the sun is shining again.
My friend and I are escaping next week to browse around yarn and vintage shops - perhaps I will be all fired up again after that....

Happy Sunny Mummy Day

2010-03-14T11:58:00.017Z

(He's flattening a hyacinth bulb, incidentally).

I am a bit new to this Mothers Day business - this only being my second but also married to a chef so unable to play the 'spoil me with a lie-in, fancy lunch and freedom from all jobs' card. When Scarlett's nursery handed me this card on Thursday, I assumed it was an early Easter card (thankfully, they have already realised that I'm a bit daft).

So this morning I was very happy with the compulsory housewife presents - a new apron and my first ever cake tin. You might need sunglasses to view this photo as not only is my apron super bright and lovely but the light reflecting from my hallway is quite startling (in case you need a bit more information here - it was a faded yellow woodchip tunnel until quite recently).

I'm off for tea with the maternal side of the family this afternoon. I have baked a cake and some biscuits using an old favourite.

My grandmother has been trying unsuccessfully to rehome this Kenwood Chef over the last few years. She has tried so many people and avenues, it has almost become a family joke. When I last visited, I realised that she wanted it to have a good home as the last time she used it was the day my grandfather died, 14 years ago; she had made a cake that he never got to eat.

So I took it home, washed it and today it has been very busy. I think I will be making a 97 year old very happy - don't you?

I've also baked some biscuits and I'm now off to find some material to give a pot of homemade jam a little hat.

Oh listen to me.

Why I love living in Suffolk

2010-03-10T19:18:00.016Z

In the past seven days I think I have experienced the best of Suffolk. There are times when I want to move away, times when I feel a bit embarassed that I have only left to go to University (albeit twice) and times when I wonder whether we will always be here.
But the weather was bright and shiny last week which does, of course, help you love your life a bit more. And then having so much work done at home forced me into the car and out to the places I couldn't walk to.
So, here is Scarlett harassing pigs at Baylham House Rare Breeds and meeting some Spring lambs.

She has absolutely no fear with animals (I wonder where she gets that from) running up to the cows, pigs, goats and cockerels, shouting "ello" and then moving on. As all these animals are used to people feeding them I would not have been surprised to see at least one of them picking her up by her hood and consuming her in one bite.
With our plasterer needing to do that really high and precarious bit on the stairs last Thursday I thought we should ship out; if only to save asking him to move everytime we needed a nappy, slipper, hair clip or whatever else I would not have remembered to bring downstairs.
I kept trying to think of where we should go, who we should see or what we should achieve and then that little voice (I sometimes listen to) said 'but where would you really like to be?'
So we went to Felixstowe, my childhood town, and definitely a favourite place. Scarlett fell asleep on the way there so I read my book, parked in the sunshine, with the windows open - lulled by the gentle sounds of sea and snoring.
We then played and wandered for ages before eating sandwiches in the car, realising we were really late for nursery/work and then hooning up the A14.

The final part of my experience was a long weekend in Aldeburgh with family and friends.

Not on my best form - with Scarlett full of a cold and cough-induced insomnia (typically)- but a walk to Thorpeness, some shopping, good food and a few laughs set me up for this grey, cold week. And our hall looks amazingly bright and airy.

Take one hat

2010-03-02T19:43:00.007Z

Just £2.99 from H&M

Left holding a dustpan and brush

2010-02-26T19:51:00.011Z

I just wrote a really prolific - and quite amusing - post when somehow (and this happens ALOT) my cursor drifted over some unknown key, selected all the text and deleted it just as it was autosaved.

How can that happen?
Ctrl + Z Ctrl + Z Ctrl + Z but still nothing came back.
Hmmm.

In a nutshell this is what it said:

Darling Husband is on a last minute to Turin in return for completing the removal of the woodchip wallpaper in our hallway.

House has been invaded by workmen this week who have been plastering walls and fitting very nice cast iron rescued fireplace.

House is therefore very dusty and I have spent much of every evening this week cleaning, sweeping and chipping off plaster drips.

I am tired and really need some sleep but have mentally written myself a long list of jobs and tasks that need doing. I was just pondering why I would have done something so daft when the text disappeared.

I think I will fast-forward to bath and bed (in the clean sheets that are a must when you have the bed to yourself), read my book and rest my weary head on one of these lovely cushions I treated myself to (just £15 each from the Futon Company).

Three things that make me smile

2010-02-11T19:22:00.006Z

My little family having an impromptu breakfast picnic.

My cabling (self-taught too)

In my recent Open University course I was awarded 89% for the essay on Victorian Britain that I struggled so hard with.

Little bright moments in an otherwise damp old day

2010-02-05T11:06:00.013Z

[Forgive me for any errors in this post - I had to stop many times to kiss Iggle Piggle or Upsy Daisy and administer fluids]

I have started feeding the birds. Everyone flew away as I approached (Wildlife Photographer of the Year - not) but my suet and seed mix - thanks CBeebies - is quite popular.

I gave up on my snowdrops last year and thought the bulbs had rotted away but look ... a little bit of white (it is the only one I can find so that makes it even more special, let's hope the dog doesn't wee on it).

This was the comedy Christmas present from my husband, but I love him. I haven't shown you the extra large solar lamp that comes out of his head - it's not his best feature.

There's nothing like a bit of new growth to brighten me up - here are my tulips. I am not talented at planting and have no eye for colour but this pot is good, suspiciously good, and I can't wait to see them again.

Have I shown you my Olive tree? A little treat for turning 40.

Nothing to do with today but posted as evidence that 'Star' did once let me put gloves on her - but we can't do a hat and gloves at once. No wonder she is always ill.

Here we go again ...

2010-02-04T20:25:00.006Z

We spent the weekend in Harrogate; I was working at the biggest bunny show this country has ever seen whilst Dan was playing house husband. We got off to a bit of an icky start with Scarlett vomiting all over the twin room in the rented cottage and then we had lots of disrupted sleep but we ended the weekend a happy little family driving home on a cold sunny day.
As last week was possibly the busiest working week I have had as a juggling mother I was pleased to turn the page on this week to see nothing more taxing than some easy work and a bit of playgroup [there is a hell of a lot of housework I am conveniently not mentioning here - you could write your name in the dust on our window sills].
So imagine my surprise when, on the way home from work, I had a call from nursery to say Scarlett was running a huge temperature and had started barking like a dog - well they didn't say that, that's my interpretation of her cough.
Hmmm.

You can't get wet without getting a cold

2010-01-28T20:25:00.004Z

Scarlett has had ANOTHER cold.
Yes my Mum did point out that getting wet and dirty on a cold day wasn't sensible ...
PS Open University assignment submitted, what will I do with all that extra time?

Potatoes, mud and a hot bath - all before lunch

2010-01-24T19:19:00.004Z